CHRISTIANS HAVE always had to reflect on their relationship to the dominant culture. St. Paul urged his fledgling converts to reject vestiges of paganism and cling instead to the identity given them by being baptized into the death and resurrection of Christ. In this he was followed by the Church Fathers, who carefully sifted the culture to see what would faithfully and fittingly correspond with Christian claims and what would corrupt them.

Raising children in our culture has forcefully reminded me of how crucial this act of discerument and resistance is. It has also persuaded me that the intentional formation of young Christians is the most important ministry contemporary churches can undertake. Modern liberal education, stemming from Rousseau, assumes that children flourish when given the freedom to select among many options in developing their own unique gifts and talents. This approach can succeed with Christian children, but probably only in a culture that is sympathetic to Christian practices and beliefs. That is no longer our situation. Becoming a Christian today is, as it was in the earliest centuries, an intentional choice made in the face of other options. While children do need freedom, they also need to be deliberately shaped by Christian practices so that they may have a genuine chance to understand and respond to the gospel.

In the Middle Ages ascetical disciplines strengthened character, cultivated independence from physical and emotional needs, and encouraged self-control. Today money, sex and power, not the classical theological virtues, set the standards for achievement and status. Expression of emotion, not its control, is encouraged. Self-development rather than self-control is the goal. Accepting guidance from any source but the self---and especially looking for guidance from God is looked upon as a sign of weakness, or simply as an eccentricity. Yet while youngsters think they are creating themselves, they are in reality being formed by television; by the sports, entertainment and advertising industries; by the shopping malls and by the streets. The market forces behind these institutions are not interested in children's moral, social and intellectual development.

Intentional Christian nurture is necessary because our culture shapes children for a world shorn of God. Christians see power in the crucified Jesus; popular culture defines power as winning in athletic or commercial combat. A Christian learns about hope from the resurrection; our culture sees hope in a new-car showroom. The church is again called upon to rescue people out of paganism.

Against the dehumanizing currents in popular culture, the church stands for a decision to find one's dignity in Jesus Christ. A discipled Christian life expresses itself in every interaction with other people and the creation. Each person and object is a gift from God, protected by the love of Jesus Christ. We must face Jesus Christ every time we touch another person's mind, feelings or body. Unless our children know Jesus, what will protect them from hurting themselves and others?

The church is perhaps the only institution with the beliefs, literature, liturgy, practices, social structure and authority (diminished though it be) necessary to rescue children from the violence and other deforming features of late 20th-century life. But it cannot accomplish this by simply laying the faith before young people and inviting them to choose it. Nor can it impose Christian identity by force and indoctrination. It can only prepare the setting for the Holy Spirit slowly to nurture children into Christian faith and practice. Churches need to think creatively about how to assist the Spirit in this process of formation.

THE CHURCH is we]] positioned for forming Christian children. First of all, it is one of the few institutions with access to the whole family. Both parents and children can be brought into the church% social and intellectual orbit, where they can publicly interact with one another and find support for their life together. Furthermore, the pulpit offers perhaps the only remaining locus of personal and public edification and exhortation.

Of course, religious education must begin at home and at an early age. Well-intentioned parents may encounter an immediate obstacle: they themselves do not feel comfortable speaking about God. Parents who are unable to articulate their faith will find it difficult to raise Christian children. These adults may gain some credibility with their children by entering with them into a process of study, prayer and reflection. Otherwise, children will quickly discern the shallowness of their parents' faith. Perhaps nothing makes a stronger impression on children than to be invited to study scripture with parents who are studying not to indoctrinate the child but for their own spiritual nourishment. To prescribe a program of scripture study for children alone, when parents do not participate, can seem like punishment, and can be the source of yet another power struggle between parents and children. Indeed, parents who rigidly impose their Christian beliefs in an attempt to exert authority over their children will be seen as more concerned with their own power than with their children's life with God. We should trust that adolescents will recognize and respect reasoned religious convictions.

PARENTS NEED to ask some hard questions about their own faith and their relationship with their children. Some may hope that their children will be instructed in the faith during the 45 minutes a week of church school, but this scant instruction cannot compete with the powerful influences that bombard the child the rest of the week. Furthermore, church school teachers are often untrained and poorly educated in the faith. And though church may provide an important social milieu for youngsters, the content of faith may never be clearly articulated there.

Parents need to talk to one another, other parents and church staff, and plan how to raise their children. Christian education should be the province of men as well as women. Children need fathers who can talk to them about God, about humility as honor, about Jesus' serf-sacrifice on the cross, and about dignity as servanthood. Fathers may be eager to get their sons onto the ballfield or artillery range, but they must leam to be even more eager to get down on their knees with children and teach them to pray.

Prayer is crucial. It teaches children to reflect on their own lives and on the world around them. It provides breathing space from the overstimulation of our society. Attending to how to pray and for whom to pray trains children to focus on the welfare of others and on world events. Prayerbooks are wonderful resources; they contain prayers for travelers, for those far away, for the sick, for those living alone, for government leaders, for an end to civil strife, for proper use of natural resources. We should also teach children to pray for virtues like compassion, courage, cheerfulness and charity.

While there are good books of prayers for children, the newspaper is probably our best source for learning to pray for others. Helping children to select a focus for prayer from a newspaper article and then to write their own prayers is excellent training--in prayer and also in thinking and writing. Some children might want to keep a scrapbook of their prayers and the articles that inspired them, so that they can look back and recall the people and events for which they have prayed.

Of course, one also learns to pray by being prayed for. Parents would do well to bless their children, perhaps when they leave for school in the morning, and to pray for them when they are facing special stresses, and at times of celebration. This means that parents must be comfortable praying aloud and spontaneously--a daunting thought for those accustomed to having the minister do the praying.

THE ACTIVITY of godparenting--which, like family prayer and study, has been all but abandoned in many contexts---has enormous potential for forming Christian children. (Grandparents can also exercise a godparenting role.) The resources for godparents are limited only by one's imagination. I suggest the following guidelines:

• Place your concern for the child's spiritual and moral development in the context of a wider involvement in her whole life. Building a genuine relationship with a child takes effort, time and energy. It requires a regular structure so that your presence in the child's life is reliable. Visits to and trips with children expand their world and build trust. If distance makes this context impossible, phone calls can underscore the importance of the relationship.
• Consult with the child's parents so that your godparenting supports their theology and educational approach. Parents can tell you about the child's intellectual and social maturity level so that your exchanges will be appropriate. Do not be daunted by distance.
• Letters are a wonderful way to express your faith thoughtfully. A pattern of writing regularly gives the child something to look forward to. I write to my goddaughter about God and Jesus, prayer, moral discernment, sin, death (when her grandfather died) and the need for times of quiet and reflection to listen for God. Sometimes I write about the liturgical season, a special feast or biblical characters and stories; sometimes I suggest projects in preparation for a holiday. She keeps my letters in a folder and rereads them when she says her evening prayers and reads her Bible. Inviting a child to send back pictures of her favorite biblical stories or characters and eventually to write return letters brings the relationship to a level of mutuality that dignifies the child.

Any suggestions for Christian parenting and godparenting may come to naught if congregations do not take Christian formation seriously.

Churches need to realize that all baptized Christians are responsible for forming one another in Christ. True, parents and teachers are very important. But every time one participates in the covenant of baptism one renews one's own baptismal covenant and promises (in the words of the Book of Common Prayer) to "do all in [one's] power to support these persons in their life in Christ." This public vow is the proper starting point for the formation of Christians.

This task requires the energy of every parish member. Even skilled parents cannot raise children alone; the authority of popular culture is too strong. They need the support and advice of the church. Also, children need to learn to relate to a variety of people---both other children and adults, both friends and strangers--in order to develop a proper range of social skills. They need to see themselves as part of a community larger than their immediate families, and to have their growing knowledge and love of God nurtured by people other than their parents. This is especially true as adolescents explore the world beyond the family, and the authority of the peer group and the general culture increases.

CONGREGATIONS NEED, first of all, to support the work of parents and godparents. Groups might be set up for sharing ideas, materials and experiences in these areas. Capable, experienced parents might mentor new parents. Groups of families might join for prayer, study and support. A fathering group might encourage men to become more involved in children's religious development.

Though it is important to minister to single people, this should not be done at the expense of meeting the increasing needs of families, especially single mothers with children. Some childless singles might be enriched by supporting youngsters. Some congregations may want to set up foster godparenting programs that pair adults with children with whom they share 6ommen interests, or with children who have special needs or stresses from illness, divorce, relocation or a death in the family, or to whom they can teach a skill. Adults might be asked to speak with youth about tensions between Christian faith and the world of business, the professions or competitive sports, or simply to witness to their faith. Local service projects might be undertaken involving children and adults. Whatever the project, careful screening, training and ongoing support for those undertaking such ministries is crucial.

Beyond this, churches must attend to youth ministry and ways of incorporating children into the liturgy. In some churches Christian education is a stepchild of congregational programming. Christian educators are rarely honored and are often underappreciated. (I once taught a ten-week Bible class for church-school teachers in a congregation that was raising $100,000 for a new organ but had no budget for teacher-training materials.) Some may want to consider establishing training requirements for church-school teachers, and rethink the voluntary status of much of Christian education.

Enlisting congregational energy, especially from men, for the raising of children is crucial. Attracting more men to Sunday school teaching and youth ministry would help. Inviting adults to relate to other people's children is difficult but important, especially for adolescents, since other adults may have more credibility with adolescents than do adults in the family. Adolescence is the time when most children disappear not only from church, but from adult company. Teenagers can easily withdraw into or be abandoned to the adolescent subculture, and become distrustful of adults. Many feel awkward, embarrassed and bored around adults, and older adults may feel just as uncomfortable around teenagers. This stand-off can lead to adolescents' isolation. Young people do need space to develop their own identities, and pressuring them to interact with adults when they are socially clumsy can be humiliating to them. Yet warm, trusting relationships with adults are required if moral and spiritual guidance is to be reclaimed.

Many congregations already successfully integrate children into worship through children's sermons, a children's procession, folk or family services, special youth days and pageants. Churches might also consider celebrating liturgically children's growth and development. Christian children should come to see their growth not simply as a celebration of self but as a celebration of their growth in Christ within the church. Baptismal birthdays might be celebrated through prayers offered by the whole congregation, reminding children and adults that they are bound together as the body of Christ. This would also remind the adults of their vows to the children.

These suggestions for forming Christian children merely scratch the surface of what needs to be done. We need churches to turn their full attention toward children, not simply to applaud them, but to lead them gently and steadily to God. Other forces in our culture are extremely strong, and they may well win our children's hearts eventually. How can churches do anything less now than to surround children with the light of Jesus Christ and the company of seasoned pilgrims?

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